Creating positive behavior with a positive action

After we've heard a lot and get used to hearing positive words, sentences good, right messeges, then we apply the positive talk, namely by issuing positive words, good words. After we see and direct our vision and children to the positive things, and we continually invest and familiarize yourself think positive, then the next step to implement positive action.

Parents do not just age alone is more than the kids, but all the act should reflect the horn as a parent. Someone who is experienced, knowledgeable people, people who provide good role models. Act positively through exemplary pattern is the one of effective method than telling or forcing a child to become this and that. That would eventually lead to one point is certain, which is positive.

Like it or not, consciously or unconsciously, every day we, our children are bombarded with negative energy. It was already crowded world with a negative influence. The most important role in the family who respond to and neutralize negative energy. Family role is to always radiate positive energy to cultivate individuals who are positive.

Add to families as an educational center to drive our kids to the front gate of the brighter, toward a bright future.

Parent attitudes Open Mind in receiving feedback from others, the attitude of parents who are open to criticism, will add maturity of his soul in educating his children. Attitude willing to learn the parents to increase their capacity as parents, will ease the way to manage and bring the "ship" on the right track.

Reflect the attitude of the parents themselves are open on the shortage and ignorance, coupled with great determination to curiosity and willing to learn from others, will help make parents as a tolerant person, democratic, and patient. As a parent, the father and the mother should not feel ashamed to always ask for help, or ask taught. Nothing to be hidden for the sake of preparing for the education of children, there is nothing to be ashamed to prepare for the future of children.

What do you think?

Creating positive behavior with positive thinking

I parted away with my best friend almost 17 years old, I wander to Bekasi, and my friends migrate to Riau, every Lebaran arrived I hoped to meet with my friends. However, there are also met. The desire to meet with my friend that's always hanging my mind, when I can meet. Phone number or his cell phone did not have, did not know her address. I would like to contact anyone? That thought kept tempting me. Until finally at some point, I actually met with my friend.

Maybe you've experienced something like that? You think of something very desirable, and one day what she thought was true?

A girl always thinking about having an ideal partner, good, and responsible. Of course with the criteria that he had in mind. Then what he thought two years was achieved.
The things we think about and realized, is not a coincidence. Apparently the power of the mind like a magnet that can draw power and suck up everything that we consider to be realized. Our minds will be able to move the whole part of us like the physical, emotional, spirit and action to move toward what we think. If our minds are focused on success, certainly a success which will be obtained. Conversely, if our minds focused on the failure, then failure that we will encounter.

What about children who "low battery" left in the lesson at his school, unlike what was envisioned by a parent? Options that exist in the parents, because the parents are more responsible and better understand everything, not children. So, choose which positive think that will bring positive energy? or negative thinking that will produce negative fruit? Of course we will choose first, that is to think positive. Continue to develop and cultivate a positive mind in ourselves, that our children will one day become a smart boy, will grow into a good boy, good son. Thoughts and prayers along with the business. Insha Allah.
A mother went to her homeroom teacher at the school. He expressed his worry because there has been no improvement in the lesson. The tutor has been brought to the house, but still, this kid is still lagging. Various attempts have been made, consult with your doctor, gave a nutritious food, more attention, but still no change.

Hearing the laments of the mother, the guardian class was suggested that the mother remains upbeat and always thinking positive. Every day the mother kept trying to think positive and believe that one day his son will be like what he was thinking. Until finally the child was "released" from elementary school. He went on to junior high school, yes not a favorite junior high or junior high seed because his lunch was mediocre. But what happened? even after the child was sitting in the Junior accomplishments stand out. They are often activated in many activities at her school. Ah impossible? No. Nothing is impossible.
In everyday life we are often faced with two choices, yes or no, could or could not. Children who are facing a test, often thought if I could replicate it or not doing? Likewise with adults when to do things, whether they could or not? Can or can not, those thoughts will determine a person succeeds or fails in doing something.

If we think that we can do something, then be assured that we will be. Likewise in educating children, plant in mind that we can take him to a better direction. Despite having to go through various obstacles, but with the conviction that we are able, then the odds that it will make us become more mature, wiser and more patient. Positive thoughts with the word "may" is a great strength to achieve success. Mind "could" be a strong move to make a dream come true, creativity, producing a variety of strategic alternatives, encourage the spirit to continue and keep trying, and will seek. While it may initially seem difficult. However, in the end we will be able and successful.

Conversely, if we think negatively by saying on our minds with the words "can not" be allowed to cover the chance to do something because it can not be convicted. With these words can not, then the desire will be discontinued, the possibilities will not be attempted, attempts to stop.

Choose can or can not?

Creating positive habit with a positive showing

Showing the positive in the sense that we should bring our vision into positive things, good things. Keep our eyes from something negative. Because inevitably what we see will be recorded in memory and certainly will affect the mindset at least, our speech patterns, even patterns may affect our actions.

Positive view can also mean that we must see things from a positive standpoint, that means distancing us from the negative prejudices. By always see things from a positive standpoint, it will make a person become a patient person, his demeanor calm and pleasant. Whereas if we are always negatively biased, then we will feel tired and do not waste energy on something useless.

Point your vision of our children on something good and useful. A mother or father, should not show any private parts in front of the kids, or impolite dressed in front of children. If so, indirectly, parents teach their children to dress impolitely.

Bring the kids on the spectacle that lead to good things. And if forced to watch bad impressions, then the Lead and provide guidance, understanding by speaking positively of course. There is a saying that "better to see once than hear a thousand times." This shows how great the power of showing. Because the view will be recorded in a permanent memory.

No matter how we want to forget what we've seen, it is a vision of time it would appear out of nowhere.

Trial and error are common in learning. The most important thing is to try to always guide our vision in a positive direction.

Creating a positive talk habit

If we've heard is positive, then spread the energy through positive talk, talk of polite, speak with soothing words. I have real experience dealing with this, sorry in this case not to patronize, or position as being omniscient, I just wanted to share the experience alone.

I have a student, let's say his name Hameed, his parents had "given up" with the behavior of this Hameed. Often throwing a tantrum, against the parents, hard to learn. At school too, he often disturbing friends, acting up and always behind in class. I was almost clueless face of this child, in many ways I tried, but have not succeeded as well.

Until finally, on one occasion when I was teaching the class, I announce something to my students that. I am announcing today that I was very proud to Hameed, because Hameed had shown remarkable change in attitude.

Hameed spontaneous stunned to hear my words. Certainly he was surprised, because he does not feel like what I said earlier. Similar reactions shown by other children. Changed what? That's about the questions asked of children in the classroom. I stick with the words and my standpoint that Hameed had been changed, and I'm proud of him. Yes to be honest did this child have not changed, but I'm optimistic with my words earlier.

Still, his face in amazement, I went to Hameed, congratulations for a change and shook his hand, do not forget I asked the other kids to give spirit to applaud.

My efforts to create a better Hameed did not stop there, on each occasion I gave encouragement with words of encouragement "Mr Hameed's very proud of you changes, continue to improve it!" Hameed nodded. That continues, while occasionally I give him the responsibility, strengthening-reinforcement, praise, and others.

Gradually, this kid really changed 180 degrees. Temperament for the better, be more diligent in learning, no longer interfere with his garden. Gradually improved his performance and showed graph continues upward.

There is a kind of encouragement in itself to change according to what he heard, there is a responsibility that must be espoused and implemented, there is a kind soul to change his call.

He did not feel was told, did not feel forced, but with the consciousness of his own, he wants to transform itself.

Make relationship with friends and people who are always talking positive is one step to train ourselves in order to get positive effects. Make friends with someone like that will spur us to see things from a positive standpoint, it will affect the attitudes, actions and decisions which are made positive.

What if the children speak negative words, dirty words are inappropriate? For older people, we should not directly blame the child, but try to straighten with a positive conversation through dialogue. Dialogue of a heart-to-heart. Are not judgmental. Provide corrective strengthening the character, but still within the corridor are constructive.

Realizing how the words consisting only of the order of alphabets and the impact it has tremendous power and could have a negative impact. If not managed wisely, then there are the filters that should be done first before we talk with the children or with other family members. The words are not good should be ingested alone or in deeply buried or just thrown away, to maintain good communication with family. By choosing positive words, communication will remain conducive and harmonious.

Be very careful in speaking, because of wrong-wrong will become a boomerang for ourselves. To remember is that children differ greatly from today's children a bygone era. Children today tend to be more mature and easier to understand something. More daring in speaking, and his mind is more open. Kids these days are now more daring to criticize their parents.

Sounding good and positive words or musics to create positive habit

Often many people underestimate the hearing aspect. Yet if we think the first activities undertaken by humans when the new born is heard. He could not speak let alone seen. Even before he was born too many parents sound off the verses of the holy Qur’an, the praise, classical songs, or invited talk by the mother or the father.

Indeed hearing is a passive activity, but good listening is an active activity. Because he will focus his attention to aspects that would be heard. Good listening will bring the atmosphere to be better communication. Relation to hear the positive, as parents should provide the ears with vitamin intake is good, with sentences that are positive, such as religious lectures, the verses of the holy Qur`an, recitation, recitation, the Islamic group study etc. .

Decorate your heart with a lot to hear the advice of the wise, Islamic Teachers, Muslim scholar, the speaker, someone who is experienced, or the motivator, trainer, and so forth.

With a lot to hear positive things, it will be imprinted on the hearts of positive words. The words are beautiful, evocative string of sentences, and so forth. Sure would be transmitted to their children through the beautiful words of all, the soothing words, a decent person and a positive energy that radiated through the emitted which will affect, influence members of his family, and took him to the road by his submission.

It would be good if there are no parents who are always out of negative words to her children, for example, you fool, you're ugly, you're embarrassing, the basic stubborn, rebellious child, and so forth. If the words are always heard the child, then there is tendency of the child will do what he had heard it. It is possible that children would be really stupid, really stubborn, and would shame the family with he did

As I say that words are like a double-edged sword, if we're wrong to use it, it will be cutting yourself. So, sounding good words, manners, and beautiful. If parents want children to do things according to our will, then do not by compulsion, not a detraction or scolding, but with a sweet invitation, a call is evocative, and so forth.

How the power of words can change the impossible becomes possible

A doctor tells a patient, that the illness is serious enough and can not be healed anymore.
About what we have suspected that there was a feeling in the person of the patient. Surely his heart would feel very sad, hope to live has vanished, because the things he heard said by a reliable doctor. he will feel depressed, desperate, and maybe he will not attempt to seek other treatment.

Another case, when the doctor told the patient that serious illness and severe enough sufficient, but there is hope for healing, then surely this will foster the motivation and spirit of the high life. Patients will have a high morale to recover and he will cope with a variety of ways to achieve healing. Most likely is that patients will achieve a cure.

The illustration above illustrates how the power of words can change the impossible becomes possible, even encourage someone to do something "impossible".

Likewise at home, if parents know their children have less value, then said with the words, "You stupid boy!" Or the phrase "You are basically stupid fool, no more try. Event already taught many time you still remain stupid! "

If the words or sentence is heard constantly and repeatedly-even from the mouth of a mother or father who hoped it could provide good guidance and education-then gradually this child will really believe that he is stupid. May not get a great value, and certainly will make your child learn to be lazy, because they will be in vain to learn, yet in the end will have values less well.

Or there are kids who really became stubborn and always against their parents, because they often hear the negative words spoken by his parents, or by his own brother, she often heard the phrase, "You are a brat, not think, always fight same parents. Are you making it difficult to parent! "This child will grow into a child who really stubborn, rebellious and troublesome parents, like what is often heard during this.

So, what to do with parents and all family members so that the kids get the influence and positive energy?

Family as The Center of The Positive Energy

Most of the time children spent in the family environment. Hence, the family environment is very dominant task in educating children. In the family in various activities children and other family members, such as listening, speaking, learning, reading, thinking, acting, hanging out, and other widely used.

One child had not only spent his time dwelling in a family environment, as a social being he had to socialize with a wider environment, that is society. Knowingly or not, when the kids socialize in a community environment is a lot of influence and the negative things go. What is heard, what is seen, what is felt will contribute to the development of children.

When the boy was playing with friends, maybe he saw someone else indiscriminate spitting, littering, and maybe he saw people fighting, or seeing things that are simply not appropriate for a child, for example, saw adult dating, hugging or even (sorry) kissing. Knowingly or not all the views will be recorded in its memory, and if this is going on constantly, then will gradually form a pattern of habits that will be copied and performed.

Perhaps the social activities, the child accidentally heard the words that do not deserve such harsh hear people talk, listen to adults or peers cursing, swearing, curses, or the words "filthy". Inevitably it will at least influence the pattern of speaking of the child.

Or maybe when the kids play with his friends, he felt the treatment of his friends or others who do not wear, such as being beaten, hit on the head, kicked or pointed at by others. It will also affect the patterns and behaviors toward children. Perhaps the child becomes quiet or vice versa children become more aggressive and mimicking what he feels.

Often we hear there is a mother complained about a problem child because he feels at home have been educating their children properly, teach manners, behave well guided and so forth, but when children go into society as if what is taught is the raw return by the severity of negative effects of existing within the community. Then, many parents who later forbade his children to mix with other children, or a society with a wider audience again for fear that the patterns and the negative effects will affect the development of the child.

However, are we going to sacrifice the freedom and rights of children to enjoy their childhood? Do we have the heart to spend his time locked child in the house without socializing with children or other people? Of course as a good parent would not do like that, because it can affect the mental development of children. Children will be an individualist, a quiet man, or even to grow as individuals priori to others. Will foster self-righteous pomposity, and the judge that another person is wrong.

The most important thing is that as parents still guarantee the rights of children are met, the children feel the beauty of the play, to enjoy his world. The parents are obligated to keep trying and trying to neutralize negative influences and energy from the environment of the child adopted form their playground. Neutralize the patterns of guidance, education, referrals, invitations, and others who are positive. Task of the parents and other family members to continue raising the awareness in the child, that the negative things he had heard, that he saw and what he feels is incorrect and does not deserve to be done. The pattern of awareness is carried out not by way of errands, coerced, threatened, or the yelling and cursing. However, the pattern is done by raising awareness of compassion which was genuine, said a gentle word, a smile a warm, intimate relationships, and provided a good example or role model. Then the children will be with full awareness and understanding will be able to differentiate between good and which ones are not good, which may be done and what not to do.

Patterns of education, counseling, referrals, invitations, and example given to children, Being aware or not all this activity is closely linked to the words. Without a word, nothing could be heard. Without words, no one can talk about. Without words, no one could be written. Without words, no one can read and nobody can understand.

We all know that words have tremendous power (words are powerful), can still remember the experimental rice? The researchers and speakers at the seminars, the trainers and motivators have to understand, feel, and proved the power of words.
The power of words are like a double-edged sword. If used properly, it will provide huge benefits for us. But on the contrary, if we use it incorrectly, it is not impossible that we will face disasters.

Familiarize children with good habits and positive

Narrated on a sunny afternoon, a father was a walk in the park with his children. They are walking while talking about absorbed the beauty of flowers and landscapes in the park. Without felt they arrived at a place where there is a crop, roses are so beautiful, the flowers are breaking with the composition of their leaves are so neat.

"Father, behold, there was a very beautiful roses at all!" The boy said, pointing to the direction of relationship is roses.
"Well really, it's beautiful." Answered her father. "Let's go there!" He said. Having arrived at the place of roses, they stopped. As if there was something jammed in their hearts.

"Dad, I think there is something missing with the flowers." His son said, pointing to the roses.
"Yes .. father thought so too. "his father answered
"Dad, I know what caused the beauty of this flower to be reduced," the boy replied. "
"What's that?" Asked his father.

"Let me see father, this relationship stems bent. That is what reduces the beauty of this flower well. "Clearly, his son again. hear it, his father nodded.
"Yes son, try if this rose stems straight, it will be a perfect beauty."
"Why do not we just straighten your father?" Asked his son again.
"It can not be my son!" Replied his father.

"Why can not my father?" Asked his son again full of amazement.
"If we straighten this interest stems now, then this rod will be broken, because this flower crops grown, the stem is hard. And even if we want to straighten will take a long time. "Clearly his father. Then after holding the stems of roses, her father continued his conversation. "Verily this is the science for our son."
"Science of what my father?" Asked his son again.

"Yes ... all that exists in nature is the science for those who think. Look at these roses! This is a reflection of human life. If only the farmer or the planting of flowers all the time, when the stem is still little interest to know the trunk started crooked, then try to always straighten crooked trunk that started this, so until these adult stem flowers will remain straight. But since childhood when this interest stems from crooked and left alone, so until this interest will be getting hooked up, and will be hard to make it right.

"He explained at length. As she took her son to get around the park, he continued his conversation. "Likewise with humans, if a little habit of being on a straight path, track, accustomed to doing good, charitable, pious, studied with seriousness, then the adult will be used and will remain on the right path and straight, but if the small make mistakes, get used to doing things that are not good, turned in the direction that is not true, and be left like that, then he will get used to also do something like that until she was an adult. When an adult would be straightened out, it would seem difficult, requires a long time. "
The world and everything inside is the science of nature and for those who think.

Helping Children to be Grown Up

Why is this child, the greater the more recalcitrant parents, and the more mature? This is one phrase that is often put forward their parents of adolescents. A new baby boy, as a rule, want to always show that he was an adult. He usually does not want more regulated by parents and he always want to make their own decisions. For example, he still decided to go to the store to buy gluten-iron, because the toy unconsciously broken by brother, or he was still with the parents of his girlfriend, even ban it.

Child of Resistance, as indicated above, it is not directly addressed the parents with negative attitudes (anger). Give understanding and support of the child, praising his actions truly reflect the maturity (responsibility and fulfill their promises). For example, for the above case, saying he was against the parents, because he wants to be responsible for any damage done to his sister's toy, or he wants to fulfill his promise, he agreed with his friend. Variations and stability behavior of adolescents is one expression, because he wanted to prove that he is alone or in adulthood.

If parents do not try to understand why the "resistance" of children, because good communication is not established will not dispute that may end up with resentment towards each other. They both accuse each other assume no sense. Parents think their children are not obedient. So a child, she can assume parents always possible or interfere with business.

To become an adult is not an easy process, but not something that is very difficult. The need for support, which must be respected in the learning process. According to Jacob Azerrad (2005) taught children to be able to behave autonomously and as adults they teach children how he should behave in the outside world. This is due to the fact that children can encounter various problems and challenges that may occur in his life. In addition, children should also learn to not influenced by other orangutan, because it has a value in it, that strong, which take care behavior and help in making own decision. Parents should teach children and implement it in everyday life, how to behave in an adult, autonomous, independent, caring and responsibility. In summing up, hopefully, children will grow into responsible adults and expected a lot of people.

The Family Role in Developing Attitudes, Values and Personality of Children

The development of attitudes, values and personality of a child in the family had originated. If these two capabilities - such as mentioned above, especially the cognitive abilities - can be said more established in schools, then the formation of attitudes, values, and personality can be said and very strong roots in the family.

The establishment of this capability began in babies born through habituation that intentionally or unintentionally planted by members of the family, especially by parents. Planting religious values that may have started since the baby was born, even since the fetus is still in the womb, a good parent would give advice, good sayings, Qur’an sounding, prayed with sincere .
Inculcate the habit of praying before doing any work will form a self-habituation to the children who will become a strong and solid foundation of individual personality.

Similarly, the formation of other capabilities. Children are taught to wash your feet and brush your teeth before bed, wash your hands before eating, respect for parents, habits greeted with polite language. Is an example of the inculcation of values and attitudes within the family. Investment discipline that begins with planting in the family also formed the habit, which in turn will shape the child's personal.

Education is the most effective pattern is applied is through a good example of the method. Because children specially during primary school age, is still on the stage of imitation (imitation). Please remember that children are great imitators (great imitator). In general, children began to make imitation or impersonation since the age of three years, that mimic the behavior around him.
Certainly requires effort and hard work, patience and time. Also important is the cultivation of attitudes, values and good personality is by giving good examples and example of all family members, especially from parents. A less likely to succeed his father told his son not to smoke, if the father's own smoking.

The Family Role in Developing Children Skills

Skills as a result of education, can be grouped into motor skills, skills, intellectual, and social skills. Motor skills associated with competence to take something that has to do with the body or limb movements, such as riding a bike skills, use of kitchen tools, dancing, exercising, playing musical instruments, using computers, and others.
In a hadith the Prophet Muhammad. said: "The strong believer is better and more loved by God than the weak believer."

Intellectual skills or cognitive skills associated with proficiency in applying knowledge gained in everyday life, such as language skills, both orally and in writing, counting skills, argue, reason, criticize or provide feedback. While social skills are skills relating to the ability for social interaction or mingle without feeling awkward, shy, like in a party, a visit to one family.

In the family, the three skills are in fact already been formed since the child is still small. Sure we've seen boys who dismantle his toy, then put it back, or children who buy toys and then he assembles his own. Children learn to cooking like woman, who is actually in the process of formation of motor skills. Boys like I was driving the car, he was moving his hands moving like holding the steering wheel, or pass the teeth, or girls to move his hands like he was refining the seasoning, ladle the vegetable, and others. All of which leads to motor skills.

Language skills to grow in line with their social skills. Children play the market-the market, bargaining, school play-school, played doctor, are a reflection of the growing intellectual and social skills. Children begin to make friends, read newspapers or magazines, helping mothers to calculate groceries, helping younger reading, is the embodiment of intellectual and social skills development.

Family as a vessel formation and development of skills, would have to create a condition in which support and guide children to a better development.
Parents can attend or make toys that are educational. Let the kids unload the toys and reinsert it. If the child is given up and was unable to install it again, then the father moved. Do not scold children who do not intentionally damage the toy, because it will kill creativity.

Do not ban girls who want to help her mother cook in the kitchen, because it will stop their creativity and imagination. The important thing is do not be careless in supervising. Do not let the boys play dolls. And there are many ways that can be developed by the parents in improving the motor skills of children.

The Family Role in Developing Children Knowledge (2)

Most important is the creative power of parents to always innovate to bring change and something new. With creative thinking, a mother will make his library at home, although only with a collection of old books he had.

With creative thinking his father would take advantage of existing tools as capital to set up a workshop and laboratory experiments for their children. With creative thinking, when the child enters preschool, then the mother will make her home into kindergarten, where the mother became his teacher and his father became his assistant or vice versa.

With creative thinking, when family members increases, the atmosphere of the house like an Elementary School, the bustling, graffiti-graffiti on the walls to the decorations, the pictures on the walls, and scattered papers that are partly the result of children's craft. When children are teenagers, then the house like a campus atmosphere in which there is good intellectual candidates. With creative thinking, the house will become a mosque, a mosque and even became a boarding school, which is able to equip their children and other family members to the science of religion.

Maybe we crossed in his mind, "Is it possible? My parents who are mediocre, my education is not high. "My name humans if there is a feeling like that it's perfectly natural. However, do not make it into the fairness and pessimistic attitude of silence with the existing limitations. In a place of culinary tourism, there were rows of merchants who offer the same foods, namely vegetables diamond. If the food served the same note, same ingredients, spices are blended together, processing the same, the shape of the same cart, only the vendors are different.

From my observations, there is one trader who crowded the visitor, and the wares sold well. When viewed at a glance nothing special with this trader, the same as diamond traders of other vegetables. But why he's so sweet-selling merchandise? The key is that he is privileging himself. He convinced himself that he could be more special than other similar vendors. How to privilege themselves? The first one he's done is create and convince himself that he is different from other traders.

The second is he buried his intention to worship, so he did it with sincerity, with sincerity, with gentleness, and with a smile. So that it affected the quality of the food produced. He does not instill a desire to take advantage of, but he convinced himself that the food they produce will please others. So it all makes it extra spice that does not exist elsewhere. Coupled with the warm service, friendly, sweet, sincere smile.

All reflected not only in the sense of peddled food, but more than that radiates positive energy that comes out through the quality of service. The visitors are willing to queue for enjoying vegetables, and also the joy of a smile, friendliness and positive energy that is transmitted by the merchant.

If you want to make ourselves special, so make us special. Now, whether we will choose to become parents are mediocre, or being a parent is special? Of course we would choose to become parents are special. Establishment of knowledge (cognitive) children can actually be further improved and optimized in the family, because most of the time children spent in day-to-day in the family.

The Family Role in Developing Children Knowledge (1)

The family has a very large role in the formation of knowledge (cognitive) of children. Why is that? Because the children in the family first came to know objects, the introduction of the names of these objects become the basis of other knowledge development. It takes patience and prudence in developing knowledge of the child. Did not learn it as a process? That process takes time, not instant.

Families also have a huge influence in helping children to develop their knowledge learned in school. Reading, writing, and arithmetic is considered as the first basic skills learned at school can be fostered by the family. Furthermore, when children begin to learn a variety of science, the family also has an important role in the development of knowledge.

Families with high education background will truly understand the importance of education, the course will provide knowledge of child development provisions by providing a variety of purposes and supporting facilities, such as books, CDs knowledge, magazines, and tapes that can enrich the knowledge of his son.

The main factor on which the development of knowledge the child is reading. Is not Allah SWT give his first revelation to Prophet Muhammad. is to reduce the paragraph to Read (Iqra ')? Of course we remember the old saying that "The book is a storehouse of knowledge, and reading is the key" or the proverb that says, "Reading opens the horizon of the world" was like that there. By reading the mastery level of knowledge will be growing rich. Families who have the habits and culture of reading, it will indirectly pass on the habit of reading it to her children. No need to ask them to read, but the neighborhood would read, then there would be encouragement to go read him. That's called learning by example.

As parents we not only sent to the child, but should we also must give an example first. Reading skills or reading ability is not limited only to read in context, but can be interpreted as a natural reading, reading the situation, read the signs of the Creator. Substitution of the day and night, will become a fertile land to spread knowledge to the children, as well as preaching. Rain into the right moment to explain about the water cycle. When the children helped the mother cut the vegetables, it is the right situation to explain the process of photosynthesis, the importance of vitamins and health.

When the boy helping his father mow the lawn and pruning the plants in the yard of the house, make that moment as a venue for a good time to explain about the importance of environmental cleanliness, about a love of nature, about how to survive, and so forth. The problem, however, many facts found that the pattern of education for children in the house is still chargeable to the mother, while the father is less concerned with the problems at home. It's often we hear there is a husband who says, "Why you are not able to take care of children?" Or when he saw the value of an ugly child, the husband said to his wife, "Mama taught the child can not you think, the kids we can value this hour? "Disproportionate distribution of tasks is really not good. Especially if associated with gender difference is not very good will towards the positive synergies that should be built between a father and mother.

Between father and mother had to build a strong teamwork to build a strong foundation to equip children in the control and improvement of knowledge (cognitive). Academic factors of parents is not a primary requirement in this regard. Levels of low academic parents who do not become the reason to justify the ignorance of parents. Many facts in which both parents only graduated from elementary school, but is able to give birth and spawned a generation of excellence. Many success stories of parents who have accompanied their children to achieve extraordinary career, even though their parents only graduated from junior high school.

No less an academic level it is good enough and his parents, both college graduates, but his children are not able to complete higher education, there are only up to junior high, or until high school did not graduate, or until college and then DO this reality. Parents' economic situation is also not set in stone. Economic circumstances should not be a mediocre excuse for a lack of attention to legalize parent to child education. Many successful people who are actually born from a family whose economy messy.

His parents worked hard to help children as much as possible, so they do not experience life as their parents. Her children had to think hard and never give up trying hard to be able to obtain scholarships to continue their education. With the limitations that exist in fact usually born "creativity" high. However, few families whose economies are not well established and excess, it is complacent and have many failure.

Family as Education Center

The process of education is first and foremost, occurs in the family. Naturally, the child was born and raised in a family environment. If we observe carefully, since the born child is influenced by the nearest environment of the family environment. Babies who cry, will become calm after his diaper changed, powdering, then nursed by his mother.

The response of a mother and other family members indirectly have formed habits in children. The relationship between a mother and her baby when breastfeeding provides a major influence on children, as well as their effects are felt to the mother in shaping the personality of an ideal mother.

Families who diligently and actively train their children to speak with a stimulating way to learn to talk, ask her to speak, even though the child can not speak, or speak with correct pronunciation, no-lisp, will see rapid development and change of the child's ability to speak. As with the families who rarely take their children to speak, let alone rarely stimulating to practice speaking, or invited to speak, but with the lisp. Perhaps the child's ability to speak will be slow, although able to speak but he would lisp.

Parents who often took his son to discuss, then do not be surprised if his son grow into a child that is open, he thought patterns become more mature compared with children in general. Open to accept differences, accustomed to being criticized and criticized. See a problem with the more mature. Another case, with parents who often had the dogma of her son, pressed it should be such and such, should not be this and that. Then the children will grow up to be a quiet child, not accustomed to accept differences, and tend to shut.

Children are a trust, the child is a gift from the Creator. Parents are morally responsible to the creator, especially in terms of educating him. Seriousness of parents in educating children is the first step in fostering the success of parents and their family household, especially if the children's command of her parents, understand their duties, and to obey his religion. Behavior that indicated the child would be an indicator of the success of parents in educating their children.

The Need of Reinforcement for Parenting

There is one simple thing that is often forgotten, and indeed trivial in nature, but its impact was incredible for mental development and progress of children, namely reinforcement. In educating children, we should feel free to provide reinforcement.

Reinforcement is any kind of positive response, both verbal and nonverbal, which aims to provide feedback (feedback) for the recipients (children) for his actions as a form of encouragement or correction. In other words, strengthening the mean response given to a behavior that can increase the likelihood of the recurrence of such behavior.

Such actions are intended to reward or encourage their children to be more active again in the study. There was a verbal reinforcement there also is nonverbal. Verbal reinforcement can be by using words of praise, appreciation, approval, and so on, for example:
Good! Yes , very good! Yes, smart! Yes, a hundred for you! Mama's boy is great, wonderful, well ... a very good, and others. While reinforcement is nonverbal, such gestures can include: a nod of the head, thumbs up, smile, eyes are cool. Friends, and others. Or strengthening the character of contact such as: a pat on the shoulder, shaking hands, hand hitting, etc..

Reinforcement is also provided not only for children who get good grades, or doing good things, but to the children who get low marks, or make mistakes, we can provide corrective and strengthening a constructive nature that can build and nurture the spirit of children, such as when our children get low values, we do not sneer, yell at them or even insult them, but we are obliged to cultivate his spirit so that one day this kid could be better.

For example with the sentence, "Be patient, kid! Do not despair. Mama still proud of you, I'm sure if his study even harder your grade will be terrific. "The sentence is accompanied by nonverbal reinforcement in the form of stroking her hair, or a clap on the shoulder.

Story as a Smart Tools of Parenting

I have a very interesting experience, when I first taught. I were invited by a friend to teach in a school is quite remote. I was asked to replace the first-grade teacher who did not go for several months due to maternity leave. Previously unimaginable for me to teach in remote schools and immediately asked to teach in class. If teaching in a high class, maybe not a problem. Imagine a male teacher teaching in class! What will happen? During this one teaching the class is female teacher, because the more patient and more flexible.

I am faced with a situation where one class of children that I face is the children who truly innocent, yet know nothing. Unlike the first-graders in urban areas, they generally are graduates Kindergarten that the majority could read, write and count. In remote rural areas, children really can not read, write and do arithmetic. Let alone read, recognize letters just yet, because they do not derive from kindergarten. Seeing the fact that I faced, I remain optimistic.

After considering various ways, I finally decided for the first two weeks, I do not teach kids reading, writing, or arithmetic. But I took the kids to listen to various stories. During the week I fairytale stories, but generally it is a story that I bring the funny-funny stories, stories that contain elements of education. I play along with them. I did not bring them into my world, but I am the one who enters their world.

There are some women who told me that her daughter is half past five was up at dawn, not as usual, then asked for a shower and fit school uniforms, the children she can not wait to hear new stories from the teacher.

After the children have felt attracted to the story, began to be interested to the teacher, began to like the school atmosphere, from where I started to educate children that was innocent. With my story method to teach reading, writing and arithmetic, and include other education elements, such as religious values, ethics, character, and others without children are taught to feel, without feeling forced.

Sometimes we forget the rights of the child to feel comfortable in doing something. We are too imposing our will to the children. Sometimes we force children to become this or be that, should this, to be so. And we too often unwittingly give burden to our children to reach certain targets, such as, "You have to be a champion!" Or "you do NOT make ashamed mommy and daddy!" There is a very heavy mental burden that must be shouldered by the children. Children with a compulsion to do something, not with awareness and responsibility.

I see that children are now much smarter, quicker to understand something, do not like kids "old days". Children today tend to be more mature in his thinking patterns, and even more open. If we want child for this, then we must give an explanation why he should be like this. If we want children do so, then we lay out the reasons and explanations why should not be so.

The need of appreciating the children achievement

There are also children who told me that he rarely gets the credit for what he did, especially in terms of value gained in the school. The value of what he got was always less in the eyes of their parents, even though these children had learned to the maximum.

It's from my observation, the child was not exceptional in terms of child achievement, ordinary child. To get a value of 80 is a tough struggle for this child. And when it gets the value 80, there is a sense of pride in his chest, how she wants to get attention and recognition from her parents for having got an 80 which he seldom get. But what earned this child when he handed the test results with a bright face and a smile to his parents?

"Do not rush to be happy with that much value. You should get the value of 100 or a minimum of 90, that was just a child of Mama! "or sometimes also their parents say," unusually, can this hour, usually 50 or 60, also the highest 70 ! Did you cheat? "

How the hard work of children who had such ability is not appreciated by people who actually hoped to give encouragement, provide motivation for more advanced. Let alone getting recognition for its success, than the attention it feels hard.

How a child will thrive if it's always judged less, or even always compared with others' success. Although the attitude or the chat of parent only, without intending to offend or hurt her feelings. However, the perceived negative impact of children, much heavier and will always be negative suggestibility in their life.

Let us ponder, what will happen to our children that every day a child gets a negative word, lowered, dropped his motivation, did not recognize the effort and hard work?

Give Your Children The Right to Enjoy Their World

Michael included a bright child in the class, In the case of accomplishments, He is the most superior compared to his peers. In addition to performance, his attitude is good, almost never makes trouble in class. Test values, duties and homework have always had the highest value. There is only one deficiency, namely the problem of socialization with friends less so.

When the rest time, children generally play in the other class pages, or joking with friends, running around, eating together, exchanging stories, or other things that typically do the school children at the time hour break. Another case with Michael, almost every day at recess spent his time reading, eating even in the classroom with supplies brought from home as well as reading. It is not wrong, but I see there is something missing.

To find out what the hell was the natural child, I wore my old stance, which I accompanied him to eat in class. Indeed he looked awkward at first, but after trying again and again it was done, he finally got used to it. I also do not forget to find out what her favorite, she did love the character Naruto. I tried to find literature on this Naruto character. Once I have the stock of knowledge about the character of this idol, I invited him to discuss the problem Naruto.

He was so enthusiastic at all. Once he feels close to me emotionally, she began to tell why he is like that, it turns out this kid brings a very heavy burden on his shoulders. He was targeted by her parents to always be a class champion, while also he was an ultimatum in order not to embarrass his family. As it turns out that his father was a well respected lecturer, his mother was a teacher. So, he should not embarrass the family.

I asked myself, where the rights of this child? His right to play, feel the beauty of childhood, her right to happiness as a children, should their rights for the sake of ambition and prestige mortgaged by parents?

I remember what was said by my Math teacher, she has a son, but he did not feel worried that their children do not master multiplication, he did not feel worried that their children are not good at mathematics as father. "People who are good at math, not necessarily his life will be better than people who are not good at math," he said. she let her son grow with interest, with his talent without this burden should be or become it. As parents duty is to drive, teach, and drove him toward a better future.

The Need of Parents Involvement in Educating Children

It seemed an impossible thing, if there are parents who do not want her child grow into a child who's smart, intelligent, physically and spiritually healthy. Growing up with reason and kindness in attitude. Surely all parents want the best for their children. A mother tiger will not abandon her child, let alone eat it. We as humans are given the excess of reason and mind, of course the best will we give to our children.

As parents, we have an obligation to raise, educate, nurture, protect, provide comfort, compassion, health, and provide guarantees of their rights as individuals are met. In addition, we have a moral responsibility to ensure they are delivering the best education for our children to a life that is more complex, toward maturation, preparing their future.

Often we ignore our needs as parents, and the prioritization of the needs of children. Husband and wife work and if asked, it can certainly answer that they work for children. Send children to schools that bona fide, the complete facilities, despite having to pay a very expensive, and when asked for what? Surely the answer for the future of children. There are many parents who send their children to schools that place far away from home, near his home when there is also a school, and when asked for what? The answer to providing the best education for their children. Yes ... all for the sake of children, and indeed it should be mandatory, because the child is trustworthy.

Have we ever think or ponder, whether we give and we do all this to the children is correct? Have we ever thought, if that had been given to children already meet the needs of outer and inner? Or perhaps it has physical needs that we provide, while the psychological needs that are lacking?

As a teacher, I often find the parents, especially mothers who come to school to ask how her children. Not just asking the state and progress of their children, but on average they come with various kinds of problems or complaints.
A mother came to see me, he said that day he accidentally came to a special school to see me, wanting to know the progress of their children. After I explained about the development of their children studying in school, He told his son learning conditions at home. Often when he had difficulty telling their children that simply puppets to learn. After telling the width at length the problem, I asked him, "When my mother told her child to learn, she was what?" I asked. Mother did not answer immediately, he blushed slightly, "I watch soap operas Sir," he said. "Interminable, and every day the soap opera, more and more exciting story here, unfortunately if you miss." Clearly again.

"Mom, that's probably the cause why the child's mother told to study hard, if we send a child to learn, yes we have to condition a child as much as possible to learn. She also had to follow to learn, so at least the mother read a newspaper or magazine, especially when you help a child do her homework, provide the questions, help prepare lessons, or other things that support the child's mother wants to learn. For example at the time to learn, things that can interfere with concentration is removed, such as the TV is turned off first. So my suggestion, from now on if she wants her children to learn, should she not told him to learn. "

"Why ... why sir? instead I should have my child learn? "Tanya's mother was a bit surprised.
"Yes Mom, from now on she never told him to learn, but my mother had to take him to learn. "

Another case with a father, who came to the same school at first, wanted to ask her son learning conditions in schools. After I explained the condition of learning in school, he was told the problem they experienced. he found it difficult to teach their children with their homework. "I was the exact Sir, I taught at several universities, but very hard to teach their own children!" He said explaining the problem. "Especially if you teach math, my kids do not believe in what I teach, she told the teacher this way, not like you teach!" He explained. I smiled to hear about it, I remembered someone, he experienced anything like this, even though he had doctoral degrees. It is issues like this very often happened. Child's teachers believe more explanation than the explanation of his parents. Though not a super teacher.

From observation I am doing all this time, the average if parents teach their children, old people in general tend to stiff, too pushy and sometimes accompanied by angry former, not rare even in some cases parents should be a war of words used by children prior learning.

Our world, the world of adults, unlike children's world. The wise man will not force his world to the world of children. Children's world is a colorful world, a simple world, full of fantasy and imagination, children world are play world. In contrast to the adult world, a world that has been contaminated with a variety of problems, complex world.

As a teacher, I not only received complaints from parents, but often I receive many complaints from my educates children in the classroom. There is by itself tells the complaints or difficulties they experienced. There are times when I must dig up information about the issues facing these students, of course, for the sake of the children's progress.

Parenting Tips : Be Positive (2)

Imagine if we unknowingly continually give something negative, negative words to our children, what will happen? Negative experiences suffered by children, will hamper or cripple a child's development. For example, a child who has bad writing, is always humiliated by his friends, even his teacher says that her writing was bad and could hardly be read. Boy's desire to improve the post disappeared, because every child wants to try to write beautiful, when it was also an inscription he never gets the credit. In his mind already obsessed by that bad writing. Any attempt to learn to write beautifully, so that there are minds is bad writing.

I have the experience which was very surprising to me and I immediately thought back to what I have done? On one occasion, I met a handsome young man, his skin white and clean, in my heart to say this child was beautiful! Suddenly the young man came up to me and kissed my hand. Of course, young children who is surprised, he knew my name, too.

After I asked, he replied, "Do you remember me? I am Juliet, Sir. The former pupil who are punished in front of the class because it not to work on homework sir! "He explained. I tried to remember, but still do not remember well when that happens. Really I never do anything like that? I still can not remember it, but young children are so detailed to tell the events that had passed many years and though it is still fresh in his mind, as if it happened yesterday.

I also immediately apologize to this young child. Thank’s God, he can understand, it was his fault, he said. Still covered with my guilty feelings toward this young man, I'm trying to ask, why is he still remembers that experience? Then he replied, "Yes sir remember, I was so embarrassed, and that I could not forget!" Forgive us, God. So I quickly rushed home and once again I apologize to my students that.

Another case with a positive experience. Positive experience it can develop a child's personal. With these experiences children become mature and appreciation of his life will become broader. For example a child is having difficulty in answering math problems, once when he managed to find a way of problem-solving mathematics. The success of these kids get compliments from people - people in surrounding areas, parents, teachers or friends. Armed with that experience, children will be encouraged to answer every question he gets.

Another example, a child who wishes to become a champion class, then the child is studying diligently all subjects. Although these children have not managed to become the champion class, without a sense of hopelessness and always received encouragement and motivation from people around them such as teachers, parents, friends, businesses are finally paying off. At the end of the lesson, the child becomes the champion class. It was an experience that is very beautiful and extraordinary.

Mistakes and failures are part of the learning process. We do not judge someone because he do wrong or fail. However, if we want to develop good personal, then we certainly will continue to provide encouragement, motivation and prayer in order to obtain good results. The experience is a lesson to do better than before, as the saying goes, "Experience is the best teacher."
Something big thing, usually starts from something small. I remember the adage spoken by my teacher, "People who are successful did not mean never falling, but immediately got up after falling."

Parenting Tips : Be Posistive (1)

At a seminar, all participants were asked to sit upright and quiet with her eyes closed. He gave suggestions to us to imagine being in a beautiful place, namely at the beach. We were asked to imagine being in a beautiful beach, accompanied by the melodious music, good food, fresh drinks, along with those we love, but do not imagine with a monkey!

What happened? We are asked to forget the monkeys, but monkeys are actually just shadows appear, do not carry a monkey, but monkey is precisely our mind flashed. The more we are asked to forget the monkey, the monkey was in fact emerged clearly.

Apparently the human mind, can not accept the things that are negative, including negative words. No wonder, when I told my students in class to be quiet, even more noise. Departing from there, I was reflecting. There's something wrong! During the time that I think is right and has become a natural phenomena, it turns out wrong. Something that has become a habit, it must be changed the pattern, because it is less precise.

Changing the negative things into positive things. Changing the negative words with positive words. As a first step I tried at home to my own children. During the time when I have my child not to play all the way, I say, "Do not play the way yes!" It turned out that my child is actually playing into the distance.

"Do not stay long game! "My child was even old enough to play well. It's only a few small examples. The more children are prohibited to do something, the greater the tendency to do things that we are forbidden.

From the results of reflection, I am committed to trying to change the pattern. My little experiment, when my son wanted to play with friends, I did not say, "Do not go too far!" But I said, 'Just play anywhere near, please! "Or I say," co-star moment, yes, sir! "When I initially said," Don’t be naughty boy! "This time I replace it with the phrase," Be a good boy, yes, sir! "What were the results?

It was remarkable. My child is still small, but with such a simple pattern changes, there are remarkable changes. My child has become more obedient, more disciplined. Conforming is not because of fear, but because he had a sense of responsibility.

It is to start something new, it is usually difficult. Sometimes there are strange feelings, embarrassment, and even hesitated to begin. In fact, we asked ourselves whether this path is correct or not? Successful or not? How to begin?

I am sure, and we all agreed that learning is a process. Can not be instantaneous and direct. Like building a bridge to connect two places separated by a wide gulf and deep. Start it was difficult, requiring time, effort, cost, and the mind. How to build a bridge that is strong, strong, safe, and durable and can provide great benefits?

Certainly require a long thought and process. Not instant. However, if done with diligence, with a strong determination, good planning, with conviction and dedication.
Bridge could be built with good success. People can enjoy the bridge for various activities. Well, if you already like this, our hard work, the difficulties faced, the sacrifices and others, as if it never happened and we never experienced.

To be continued...